The Boston Bing

Come On Into the Lighthouse (Family Retreat)

Every once in a while you come across a cause that captures your heart.  A mission that grabs your attention.  An idea that stimulates your mind.  It happened for me this past week.  Here it is: take families going through childhood cancer to the beach for a week retreat.  Give them an escape.  Away from hospital rooms, sleepless nights and chemotherapy.  More than that – center the entire retreat around a three-part purpose: to help families laugh, reconnect with each other, and find hope in God.  And that’s the Lighthouse Family Retreat.

It was 12 years ago when my youngest brother Tim died of cancer at age 11.  He had osteosarcoma (bone cancer) for less than a year before he passed away.  As a freshman in high school, I was faced with an intensely difficult situation.  And, years later, I can hardly imagine how painful the time must have been for my parents.  So, when I heard about the Lighthouse Family Retreat, I signed up to volunteer immediately.

My nephew Trey and I spent the last week in Seaside, Florida with 30 other volunteers and 10 families who have a child with cancer.  We did laundry, made beds, carried stuff, served food, and got piled on by 6-8 year-old boys all week.  There was pool olympics, a talent show, and a dance party.  You would think that a retreat filled with childhood cancer families would be depressing.  It’s anything but.  Instead, the week is packed full of smiles and laughter.  It’s bright.  Fun.  Full of life.  Exactly what the families need.  Allow me to share my three biggest lessons from the week:

It’s Healthy to Hang Out With Kids

Kids amaze me.  Amputated legs, ports in their chests, bald heads…no matter.  Kids enjoy life unashamedly.  What age do we reach when we become more concerned about life’s problems than about enjoying the moment?  Probably the same age as when we become obsessed with what others think of us.  But, the kids I hung out with last week haven’t reached that age.

Take Chase, for example.  At 6, he’s already had leukemia for a couple years.  The cancer may force him to have hip replacement soon.  And, what is my most vivid memory of Chase from the week?  His football spike and unbelievable endzone dance.  Ocho Cinco would be jealous.

It’s healthy to hang out with kids.  They remind me that my worries really aren’t that big of a deal. A la Matthew 6:25-34.  No wonder Jesus told us to have faith like a child.

Serving Others Helps You Realize Life is Not About You

As Donald Miller once described, sometimes I act like life is a movie about me.  I’m the main character, and everyone/everything else revolves around me.  I’ve become more vulnerable to this perspective since going back to school.  Business school is a very me-centered culture.  As a student, I’m a consumer, regularly asking, “what’s in it for me?”  Serving at the Lighthouse helped shake me out of that mentality.

Trey and I were assigned as family partners to the Richards family.  They have 3 boys – Max (10), Carter (8), and Beau (6).  Carter has leukemia.  Trey and I served their family during the week – we cleaned their home, did their laundry, left them encouraging notes, etc.  One night we watched the boys so that their parents could go on a date.  Some of the retreat parents hadn’t been on a date on years (cancer can ruin marriages too).  Helping that happen was worth it’s weight in gold.

Life is not about me.  And the only way to stop acting like it is to focus on serving others.

Faith is Based on Who God is, Not How Life is

Why do bad things happen to good people?  I don’t know if I have a good answer to that.  But, seeing the attitudes of  the families down at the Lighthouse gave me a lot of hope.  In the middle of experiencing hell on earth, a lot of the families remain convinced of God’s goodness.  Their faith is based on who God is.  Not what circumstances they’re currently facing.

Each day of the retreat week focuses on a different message.  Day 1: God is Good.  Day 2: God Cares.  Day 3: God is in Control.  Day 4: God Wants to Know You. Wow.  If I fully grasped those four truths, there’d be no telling what would happen in my life.  Seriously, what would it look like if my focus was on how much Jesus loves me?  Instead of all those emails I need to send.  Instead of how I have to find the perfect job.  Instead of fill in the blank.

So, it was an amazing week.  And now I’m left wondering: how can I take my lessons from the Lighthouse Family Retreat and apply them during my internship at Google this summer?

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